Thursday, May 24, 2007

Relaciones con Familia: Presente y Futuro

Recently I have been thinking about family. Both in it's current form, and what it might potentially be at some distant unknown date. The question I keep posing to myself is how will my future family be different then my current family.

Yes, those involved will be varied. Personalities, quirks, character traits, emotions, interests, past times, passions, goals... This mix will most definitely be different. What I cannot seem to deny being the same is my immediate intimate relationship with them, will all its ups and downs.

Just like with my current family, I will come to know my future family inside and out. As such, I will be faced with the same relational thorns that scar my relationships now. The seemingly insurmountable instincts of my sinful nature will still exist. There will be times when my guard will drop and snap, I will loose my temper, get frustrated, push away, and argue with those I love, just as I do now with my current family.

It is here where the conviction settles in with it's unsettling prods at my heart. If I am not willing to put an effort into resolving problems now, how different will it be in the future? If I am not willing to communicate and pursue a growing healthy relationship now, why would it be any different in the future?

If nothing else, today is excellent training ground for tomorrow.

Ephesians 5:15-17 Be very careful, then, how you live - not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.

My prayer is for the strength and wisdom to have healthy God pleasing relationships with my family, both today and tomorrow. That I will not look at my current relationship with my family as something that is temporary and passing, therefore not worth the effort. On the contrary, that I will invest myself wholly in my family, in relationships that will grow and mature as my position in life changes. That I will make the most of this opportunity with my family so that I will have the experience to have a joyful family of my own.


Mirranda said...

Es un bueno... "bloggo"? I hope Ekkhart isn't reading this!

Good thoughts though.

Tiana said...

I didn't realize you had a blog until I stumbled around in the blog world for a while. Basically through connections from one blog to another. Interesting.
I liked your topic here. It is especially true for our team that lives abroad as we work together, play together, and some of us live together. Talk about conflict resolution! :) Just imagine if everything you did with your family was together! I know for sure that I would not have grown in the ways I have with out these six other people in my life so much. I am thankful for it.

Matt said...

Mr. Knepprath,

I find your comments naive and offensive, and your last name ridiculously hard to spell.

That said, were you talking about your present family where you're in the position of son vs. your future family where you'd play the role of husband, or vs. your future family where you'd play the role of son still? You know what I mean? If I had to guess I'd say it's the first one...

Either way, the challenge you present is...challenging. I know that on several occassions I have thought "Well I don't need to work out problems with my family, but when I start my own I'll solve any problem that comes up." You're right in saying that the two family's problems will be linked. Although, I kind of think that the role of the different personalities and interests in the people involved might be greater than you give them credit for. After all, you get to choose at least one member of your future family, you don't get to choose any members of the family you were born into. Sorry for the long comment.

David Knepprath said...

Naive and offensive? I'm confused, what exactly are you referring?

And you were correct in your assumption of the roles I was trying to break down.

However, I disagree in your opinion that the changes in role and personalities in marriage somehow make it less of a problem. This is speaking from the experience of observing the majority of marriages I have come in contact with and hearing the frustrations from countless peers concerning the marriages of their parents.

BOTTOM LINE: You can never be prepared enough to work too hard at a future marriage.

So the way I see it, I will take ever opportunity I can get to train for when that day may come.

Matt said...

twas a joke...thought it might get you all riled up... :)

I agree with your bottom line.

Reading back, I didn't express my point very clearly. I was trying to say that because we can't choose the family we're born into, there's more likely to be (more, and harder to resolve) conflict when you're in the role of a son in your current family.

That's been my experience at least.

But I agree with your bottom line.

MaryandLindy said...

I enjoyed reading the conversation between you and Matt about your post, as two guys that I really respect. You probably aren't surprised, in light of recent happenings involving friends and marriage that I whole heartedly believe that you can never be prepared enough to fight for a good marriage, I think that's how you put it. It's applaudable that you have seen/been looking for ways that you can invest in future relationships by growing personally and in the relationships you have now. Good thoughts.

Elia said...

Me gusto mucho de lo que decidiste escribir esta vez. I really liked your thoughts on this topic. It really shows how much you are growing, and how much you care to have a good relationship with your family (present and future). I think it will be interesting to see how we solve problems when we have our own families. I know that I often judge the way my parents and my family in general, deal with problems. This blog encourages to really think about my relationship with my family.